College Life

College is supposed to be the best years of your life, right? A time for friends, partying, living it up. But what if it's not? 

This is the boat I was stuck in my freshman year. I was absolutely miserable... I was depressed. I was in a never ending nightmare. Each morning I would wake up and just pray that it was all over and I would wake up and be home. It was this dark tunnel where you couldn't see the end. It was a hole you are trapped in, with no way out. You feel like the world is closing in on you, that there is no way to escape. I couldn't make it through the hour, let alone a whole week here and then 4 years?? It wasn't possible. It wasn't going to happen. 

Everyone you talk to, everywhere you look, every picture on Instagram... People are having the time of their lives, enjoying every minute of it, but that wasn't me. I forgot what it was like to feel happy, to smile for real. I had lost all hope. 

But then it changed. Sophomore year, I wasn't excited to go back because I was scared. I was scared to go back to that dark place. BUT, after the year started and I had my own apartment and my own puppy, I was ok! I didn't have this dark cloud lingering over me, I could actually see the sun again! Sure, I still go home on weekends, but with a family like mine, who wouldn't? 

I enjoy my time at my apartment during the week. Having my own space, not being yelled at for dirty dishes, letting my pup run free. But then I get to go home, see my family for a couple of days, then go back to my life at school. 

The point of this is, it's ok to not be ok! It's ok to be sad, depressed, unhappy... But know there is a light at the end whether you can see it or not! 

Also- don't let people tell you how you should feel, what you should be doing... Only YOU know what's best for you. I like to go home on the weekends and I get, oh you need to stay, you need to go out, you need to get the full experience. But guess what, no ones experience is going to be the same, and my experience is going to be what I want it to be. It doesn't have to be what others experience, it is YOUR life, you only get one here on this earth, so make it work for YOU, to make you happy. At the end of the day, we all deserve happiness, so whatever it takes for you to get there, do it! 

Have a good day, ya'll! 💋

A. Larsen